Monday, March 1, 2010
Apology, the Cure!
ok, so this morning was one of THOSE mornings. With Laney sick there has been quite a bit more whining than usual! Enough to drive me close the the brink of insanity. Come lunch time I was driven to the brink of total frustration! Hallie would not take her bottle or eat her lunch . She screamed at me to let me know that all she wanted was bananas and boob! She got her banana but Mommy is holding out on the boob. Time that girl learned to take a bottle! Anyhoo, while trying to eat MY yummy healthy lunch of taquitos, salsa, and guacamole I am assalted by these sounds..." I don't liiiiiiiiiike this!" Mommy, can I have some more taquitos!" Mommy can I have some more salsa?" "AAAAAAAAA, that's not a lot, I want alot!" waaaaaaaaaaaaa, I have a snotty nose!" (translation get me a kleenex) I want a banana! I want a cookie! Make Charlie get away from me!! WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! So having made it through to the end in calm cool mommy mode, I sent Lane to wash her hands. She is too short, even with the stool to reach the faucet and turn the water on, but once it is on she can take care of business. Well, she starts wailing Mommy help me! I came with Hallie on my hip to turn on the water, telling her to get the stool and climb up. She didn't. She just whined at me to HELLLLP! (its so ironic that one second they are whining for help and the next snapping, "I can do it myself". ) Anyway, I turned on the water and she cont to whine and fuss about me helping as the water flowed down the drain. (We will never win awards for being a green family!) Finally, I lost it and yelled at her that if she wouldn't get up on the stool and wash she couldn't wash her hands. I slammed off the water and stomped out of the bathroom as she dissolved into tears on the floor. Immediately, I felt the regret, the guilt, heard Satan whisper," you are a horrible mom". Took a few deep breaths. Put Hallie on the floor to scream. Came back, not quite settled down, but lifted Laney, not so gently, onto the stool, turned on the faucet and washed hands and face for her. Feeling still frustration and defeat. The Lord said, apologize. So I took my laney by the hands and pulled her to me. As we sat on the bottom stairs, I just said, "Laney, Mommy is sorry that she got so angry at you in the bathroom. I'm sorry I was rude and hurt your feelings. Will you forgive me? And she answered yes! and we hugged. And it was like magic, the Lord's upside down Kingdom principles are like magic. I could've been defeated all day bc of that incident. Laney might have carried anger at me or worse walked around thinking I didn't love her or was angry at her all day. But just asking for forgiveness turned it all around! It shut up Satan's lies in my head. It took away his place to stand in both our lives. And it brought back unity and love between my precious daughter and me. God is wise! Surely we all make mommy mistakes, but we have a Savior who loves and forgives us and our children do too, if we only take the time to ask.