My Blue Heaven

Monday, March 1, 2010

Apology, the Cure!

ok, so this morning was one of THOSE mornings. With Laney sick there has been quite a bit more whining than usual! Enough to drive me close the the brink of insanity. Come lunch time I was driven to the brink of total frustration! Hallie would not take her bottle or eat her lunch . She screamed at me to let me know that all she wanted was bananas and boob! She got her banana but Mommy is holding out on the boob. Time that girl learned to take a bottle! Anyhoo, while trying to eat MY yummy healthy lunch of taquitos, salsa, and guacamole I am assalted by these sounds..." I don't liiiiiiiiiike this!" Mommy, can I have some more taquitos!" Mommy can I have some more salsa?" "AAAAAAAAA, that's not a lot, I want alot!" waaaaaaaaaaaaa, I have a snotty nose!" (translation get me a kleenex) I want a banana! I want a cookie! Make Charlie get away from me!! WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! So having made it through to the end in calm cool mommy mode, I sent Lane to wash her hands. She is too short, even with the stool to reach the faucet and turn the water on, but once it is on she can take care of business. Well, she starts wailing Mommy help me! I came with Hallie on my hip to turn on the water, telling her to get the stool and climb up. She didn't. She just whined at me to HELLLLP! (its so ironic that one second they are whining for help and the next snapping, "I can do it myself". ) Anyway, I turned on the water and she cont to whine and fuss about me helping as the water flowed down the drain. (We will never win awards for being a green family!) Finally, I lost it and yelled at her that if she wouldn't get up on the stool and wash she couldn't wash her hands. I slammed off the water and stomped out of the bathroom as she dissolved into tears on the floor. Immediately, I felt the regret, the guilt, heard Satan whisper," you are a horrible mom". Took a few deep breaths. Put Hallie on the floor to scream. Came back, not quite settled down, but lifted Laney, not so gently, onto the stool, turned on the faucet and washed hands and face for her. Feeling still frustration and defeat. The Lord said, apologize. So I took my laney by the hands and pulled her to me. As we sat on the bottom stairs, I just said, "Laney, Mommy is sorry that she got so angry at you in the bathroom. I'm sorry I was rude and hurt your feelings. Will you forgive me? And she answered yes! and we hugged. And it was like magic, the Lord's upside down Kingdom principles are like magic. I could've been defeated all day bc of that incident. Laney might have carried anger at me or worse walked around thinking I didn't love her or was angry at her all day. But just asking for forgiveness turned it all around! It shut up Satan's lies in my head. It took away his place to stand in both our lives. And it brought back unity and love between my precious daughter and me. God is wise! Surely we all make mommy mistakes, but we have a Savior who loves and forgives us and our children do too, if we only take the time to ask.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

ALERT! Sickeningly sweet blog post to follow!

Ok, so can I just have to say that I'm in love with my children! They are so amazing and this blog is just bursting out of my mommy heart! A few weeks ago in my Mom's time bible study I pledged to pray that God would help me to see my children for who they truly are and to help me to truly love them in the way they need to be loved. I get tunnel vision here in the trenches and sometimes, sadly see them as just my "work for the day". I hate even confessing that to the world, but transparency is what I strive for, so there is the ugly truth. So, anyway, the Lord is ANSWERING my prayer!! In the last few weeks, through sick days and everything, I am starting to really see my kids. To hear their hearts and thoughts and its delightful! Laney needs lots of hugs and kisses, which I don't do naturally, but when I take the time to snuggle her, my spirit is refreshed. I put her down for nap just now, and we gave butterfly kisses and her arms tight around my neck and an "I love you mommy!" warmed me to the soul. Then there's Zachie. He is always hollering out, "Mama!" during his quiet rest time. Sometimes I get so frustrated trying to get things done while he keeps wanting to tell me something. But praise the Lord I stopped to listen just now. He told me, "Mama you love all of us." I said, yes. He said, "Mama's are the best and everyone loves you too." I had to go give him a big kiss! He added that "Daddy's are the best too." There is so much reward when we invest in our children with patience, kindness, and love! Gentle answers instead of frustrated, "WHAT!" makes such a difference in our relationship. Praise God for my children, clique and all, they really are a gift from heaven! LOL!

PS Hallie is of course adorable! Every second I snuggle her fat cheeks I am delighted!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Quotes from a 4 yrear old

"How do fireflies make aphids?" is a question my back neighbors must have heard Zach ask me this afternoon. I said, they don't, laughing inside my head at what a stranger would think of this conversation. He got this idea for the book, The Grouchy Lady Bug by Eric Carle. He must have assumed that since they were there together at the beginning that the fireflies made the aphids. You also would've heard him saying, " I lost my snail and I'm so sad. I loved him! He was my best snail! I may never find him again!"